A/S/L

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[Monkeyman667] - 24/yes/NJ. U?

Died Laughing

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Stupidity Test

Due to some even more complicated stuff, I'm back! Well ok, none of it was complicated, but I don't feel like explaining anything. I am just glad my new computer finally came today after my dad sold my old one. Anyway, this is a great test I created to test your stupidity, it comes with a score and everything. Go check it out!

Stupidity Test

Takin a break

Due to some complicated stuff, I won't have access to my computer for the next couple of days. I will resume posting on the 14th. So.. just read some of my old stuff.well, thats pretty much all I wanted to say.

School code of Rules and Regulations

In a perfect world, this is what our schools would be like.

School Code of Rules and Regulations

Dress Code:

- Girls- Dressing like a whore or stripper is unacceptable. If any girl is found dressed this way, she will be dealt with privately in the principle’s office.

- School girl outfits are acceptable.

- Fat girls are to be fully clothed at ALL times. Violation of this rule is a level 3 felony and will have to be taken up in court.

- Guys can dress however they want. We don’t really care.

Drugs and Alcohol

• Use of drugs or alcohol on school grounds is prohibited. Any drugs or alcohol confiscated by a teacher are to be disposed of in a trash bin near the teacher’s lounge.
• If you bring one joint to class, you must bring enough to share with everyone. Not doing so will result in a letter sent to the parents requesting that the student not be sent back to school until he/she brings enough for the whole class.
• Chemistry class is not for mixing drinks unless it is for educational purposes only, such as the affects of various types of alcohols on the body. Leftovers may be shared with other teachers. Keep the baking soda clearly labeled as baking soda, so as to not confuse it with crack.
• Any syringes confiscated by a teacher are to be given to the school nurse for proper disposal.

Bullying

• Shut up and get over it. This isn’t kindergarten anymore. If anyone is bullying you, get a gun and shoot his ass.

General Code of Conduct

• Servicing oneself in the hallways is a level 2 felony. Anyone spotted engaging in such an act by a camera will be escorted into a private room by a staff member and may continue under proper supervision and video surveillance.
• Public displays of affection are acceptable only if it is girl on girl.
• Nun jokes are to be told in the presence of nuns. If they think the joke is funny, then it is ok to tell the joke to your classmates. Failure to comply to this rule will result in your name being printed on the “Sinners” list.
• Public displays of anorexia are unacceptable. Eat a sandwich and get your life together.
• Calling someone gay is unacceptable without substantial evidence. Once the evidence is properly examined and the accused is found to be truly gay, you may post his name on the “Sinners” list on the bulletin board in the main hallway.
• Voicing your opinion is prohibited. This is not a democracy. Conform to the rules like everyone else and keep your damn comments to yourself.

Stories from Russia pt 1

As all of you may not know, I was born in St. Petersburg, Russia. When I was only two and a half years old, my family moved to America. Since then, I have visited Russia a few times, and I'd like to share with you all my experiences there. Russia is certainly different from America, both culturally and physically. For one thing, the subways are incredibly clean and well kempt. Not only that, but they feature beautiful arcitechture like nothing you can find in an American subway. On the other hand, the streets are very dirty and dusty. White sneakers can easily be turned black in just one day. Russia also features some great historic sites, such as the Red Square in Moscow and the Hermitage museum in St. Petersburg. I have been to both places, and needless to say they were pretty boring. I'm just not into the whole.. art thing. Being at the Red Square was nice, but all we did was walk around.

Where money is concerned, everything is fairly cheap to an American. Somewhere around thirty rubles amounts to one dollar. And considering how most people there make significantly less than the average American, living in Russia for people is difficult. Most people live in the city, in small apartments. When they go on vacation, they go to the country side, also called a "datcha". Due to the difficult living conditions, even cops need to break the rules to make money, which is why a lot of the authority figures are corrupt, and take bribes. You can easily get out of a ticket by simply giving the cop ten or twenty bucks, and continue speeding. Also because of the difficult living conditions, many people tend to be mean or rude for no reason.

This is pretty much the gist of what I saw when I was in Russia. I do have some in depth stories to tell, and I will get to those some other time. I hope you enjoyed this insiteful and interesting "lecture" on Russia. The funny stuff will continue tommorow.

Who wants to be a Superhero?

Lately I've been hooked on this great reality show called "Who Wants to be a superhero", which is hosted by none other than comic book legend Stan Lee himself. The premise of the show is that 11(two eliminated so far) self made "superheros" are tested in various aspects of what every superhero should have, such as courage, integrity, self-sacrifice, compassion, and resourcefulness. After each task, the superheros are evaluated based on their performance and one is eliminated. The last superhero standing will be immortalized in a comic book, and have a movie made about them by Scifi.

Whats really great about this show is that it focuses on human nature, and not on things such as who is the strongest or the fastest. For example, the first task was for each superhero to quickly change into their costumes(and be as inconspicuous about it as possible) and run to a checkpoint. The purpose of the task wasn't who made the fastest time, but who stopped to help a little girl who was crying for her mommy. Only the great Stan Lee himself could think of such a clever test. The results of this task were very dissapointing, as only a few superheros stopped to help the little girl, most of whom were women. Everyone else was so focused on making the fastest time that they either didn't notice the girl, or ignored her.

The only male superhero that does stop to help the girl goes by the name of Major Victory. He stops to help the girl, and even lets her jump into his arms and carries her. Now that is being a true superhero. Not only did he help the girl, he also did a dance. What superhero do you know that has his own frickin dance? If I were to put my money on any superhero, it would definatly be Major Victory. This guy kicks ass.

To see all the other superheros, go here.
The show airs every Thursday at 9PM/8PM Central on the SCIFI channel. So go watch it!

Ugh.. Braces

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I got braces on my bottom teeth yesterday, and it hurts like hell. So, once again, I have no choice but to eat low fat yogurt for the next week. Braces are such a hassle in general. Eating is especially difficult, due to food constantly getting stuck in between all the little spaces. Why, just last night I was brushing my teeth and found half a sandwich stuck in my upper braces. I beleive it was.. ham and cheese. Well, I'll get used to my lower braces eventually. The good news is I won't have these braces on for much longer. Just two more years, and they will finally be taken off.