Aw screw it!

I could never keep a rigid schedule like that, especially when spur of the moment stuff comes up that I just have to type up. This is a conversation I had with a recruiter. I decided to have some fun and screw around with him a little bit.

Phone rings

Me: Hello?
Recruiter: Hi, my name is Joe and I'm calling all high school seniors to see what their plans are after high school.
Me: Ok.
Recruiter: .......What do you plan to do after high school?
Me: Uhhh, I wanna be president.
Recruiter: oh, really?
Me: Yeah.
Recruiter: Heh. Well, you know, being president is a tough job. You gotta be pretty smart and know what you are doing.
Me:Uh-huh. I don't quite see where you are going with this.
Recruiter: Hrm...
Me: But before that, I plan on going to college.
Recruiter: Ok. Where are you going to go?
Me: I'm thinking either USF and if not there then a community college.
Recruiter: Ok, cool. What are you going to major in?
Me: Ummm.. that I don't really know. I'm still.. I'm still thinking about that.
Recruiter: Well, what are your interests?
Me: Forks.
Recruiter: .....
Me: I like to make things out of forks. Sometimes I just sit there for hours bending forks and making stuff.
Recruiter: So, you like building things?
Me: No. I like Forks.
Recruiter: Ok. Have you considered the marines? We have many programs and jobs where you can put things together. Your tuition will be covered 100%.
Me: Nah, the marines aren't for me. I've heard some things that happen there. Its really not my for me.
Recruiter : What have you heard?
Me: Well, is it true that many marines become gay from taking all those group showers?
Recruiter: No, of course not. Who told you that?
Me: You say that like being gay is a bad thing. Do you have a problem with gays?
Recruiter: No, I'm just saying what you heard isn't true. You can be gay if you want, I don't have a problem with it.
Me: I'm not... I'm not gay.
Recruiter: I didn't-
Me: When they shave your head, do they.. umm... do you have to shave your naughty parts too?
Recruiter: Your what? No. Thats not a requirement.
Me: Ok.
Recruiter:.....
Me: Did you hear that?
Recruiter: What..
Me: I heard a noise. Like....like and old man choking a cat.
Recruiter: No. I don't hear anything.
Me: hmm... I guess its just me. I hear things sometimes. You know, like that kid who saw dead people? Well, I can hear them.
Recruiter: I see.
*After this he asks me some questions to see if I'm qualified to be a marine. Just some routine questions which I answer normally. Finally we get to the last few minutes of the conversation.
Recruiter: Well, you're qualified.
Me: Ok, but the marines.. its just not for me.
Recruiter: Why not?
Me: Well... I don't tell this to most people but... I have a tail. And... I'm very self concious about that. It's pretty gross. Its like.. like a rats tail. I try to hide it under my pants and it looks like I have an erection from behind.
Recruiter: ......
Me: But umm.. Hey, I'll think about it and.. you know.. if I change my mind I'll give you guys a call or however.. that works.
Recruiter: I can just give you a call in a few months and see what your plans are at that time.
Me: Ok sure. Bye.
Recruiter: Bye.

Taking things in a bit of a different direction....

After having this blog for a while, it seems that something just isn't right. So, I took some time to think about it, I've realised that my blog needs more structure. So, starting tommorow Tuesday maybe next week, this is how its going to be:

Short Story Monday - Every Monday I will tell a short story. It will mostly be random nonsense, that, when read in the proper conditions will make total sense.

A comic of some sort Tuesday - Every Tuesday I will use my awsome drawing skills to come up with some sort of witty and occasionally hilarious comic.

Wacky Wednesday - Every Wednesday I will write about myself, or my thoughts on something.

Anything goes Thursday - Thursdays will be completely random. Anything can happen.

In the news Friday - Every Friday I will link to some interesting news articles and give my own views on it or something like that.

As for saturday and sunday, well, even bloggers need to take breaks. Maybe someday I will think of something for those days. As for now, this is how its going to be. I'll try it out and see what happens.